Facing Complexity and Men’s Issues

 

Not As Special As They Claim

Now we tred into difficult territory. No doubt there are wide differences concerning how men view themselves. In general behaviors and attitudes suggest men are meant to demonstrate that they are superior to women and will lead them. The problem is that many men don’t feel that way. Deep inside many men don’t feel as special as they claim but accepting those feelings would give them opportunity if they can seize it.

Being direct with oneself would help men clarify who they think they are and how they should devote themselves. That requires them to accept that they can actually do that. It may mean turning away from a devotion to power. Sharing it and its different levels would benefit us all.

Then There is Sports Tyranny

The confinement of men is well illustrated by the role of sports in their lives at many levels. From a very early age it is expected that boys will devote themselves to sports. If they are not good or don’t care they may be ridiculed and treated badly.

There is the image of the small boy wearing a ball mitt standing adoringly before a sports star. It almost seems required. Is that boy good at sports or will he feel diminished if he does not measure up to his “idol”.

And what if he doesn’t care about sports. He may be ridiculed and told it is essential for his conditioning and physical wellbeing. In fact there are many other conditioning and self maintenance alternatives. They are more apparent now than when I was a child. Being able to choose alternatives will offer ways to enhance self esteem as well as skills and help open the bounty and diversity of the world.

Being Who We Are

As soon as we question men’s self esteem we have the chance to explore their world. That world includes not just a view into self esteem but also their ability to make choices about numerous alternatives for their lives. That in turn offers them a rich type of future with the woman of their choice. 

Not long ago it seemed we thought that our development ended with what we call the beginning of adulthood. In fact, our complex development continues throughout life. And it helps if we are not confined by a rigid identity and limited choices as often happens to men. When they open their world they let a woman in for greater rich experience together.

A Lesson From Women

Currently we are seeing something with women that is instructive. 

I don’t remember the exact time but it was a few decades ago when some women were looking for power and a new place in life. Some chose to dress down closer to what men wore. It seemed unreal and confining. It didn’t last long and it disappeared from the stage.

And now, with empowerment, It is truly lovely to see smart, assertive women appear on television and they may be dressed beautifully. They show their talents, commitments and intelligence. Yes, they can be pretty, smart and important.

The Bottom Line

Perhaps we might look at empowerment as a universal need. We are already seeing benefits in the empowerment of women. Now, if men can overcome common self esteem issues and self image issues it may be that they can be empowered in a new way. And with both men and women being empowered we will find a new form of partnership. 

This can be a wonderful new day. We can look forward to rich and enhancing self and social explorations.

###

Don’t Miss My Developing Gaia’s Majesty Trilogy

I refer to it as a work of magical realism. It is a series with a strong mythological element and a real world setting in this time when women are being empowered at last. It is a time of wonder and awakening for all of humankind.

Gaia’s Majesty-Mission Called: Women in Power – Book 1

Avery had dedicated her life to work for the future of third world women. Her life was enhanced when she met the man who became the love of her life. They could not know that they shared a destiny and that a mission set long ago by our Earth Goddess was to be revealed before 

them. 

Available Now in Kindle and Paperback on Amazon

Gaia’s Majesty-Mission Called

Gaia’s Majesty-Challenge: The Chosen Rise – Book 2

These people, called Tethyans, live in cities in the sea but can morph into fully human form and come to land to form families. They join with the warrior women called the Andromeda to fight against the forces working to impair the future of humankind. Avery has found her birth name of Chantia and she and Beck find there is soon to be a child of seeming great import just as the world falls into terrible strife with millions already dead. 

Available Now in Kindle and Paperback on Amazon

Gaia’s Majesty-Challenge

Thank You For Your Service

Have you ever had a stress reaction?

Have We Defined Stress Incorrectly?

Maybe our recent wars did not create an apocalypse for our nation, but we’re now facing some consequences of the wars. An apocalypse is ongoing for many of the residents of the Middle East but there is also significant distress among some people in our nation.

Some of that distress will be referred to as mental illness. I am not a huge fan of the medical model as it relates to mental and emotional functioning because I think there are often other more useful ways to look at some of the things that happen to us. We created the concept of mental health so that we could remove mental and emotional suffering from the hands of the church. It is no longer common to describe people as being possessed by the devil or demons. But sometimes viewing something as an illness is not useful either.

World War II Is Still With Us

Long before there was the currently popular Post Traumatic Stress Disorder we had war related stress problems but they were not diagnosed nor helped very effectively. We hear a great deal about PTSD currently. It almost sounds like it is a new problem.

I had a couple of awakenings in my practice over the years. In one instance a man came to see me about an ill-defined depression which had been nagging at him. We talked for several sessions until at last he said, “I think you need to meet my father”. His father had been a bomber pilot in World War II and had flown on both missions to destroy the Ploesti oil fields in Rumania. In each attack they lost 90% of the planes. His father had passed survivor guilt on to his son.

In another instance I was dealing with a young Jewish woman. Again, we were getting nowhere until she asked to bring her grandmother in. Her grandmother was a survivor of the Aushwitz concentration camp and had passed on this heritage within the family.

More Recent Events

It should not surprise anyone that we have similar problems for people who served in Vietnam and more recently in Afghanistan and Iraq and we will see what will be the outcome of the current troop withdrawals. The revelations have been ongoing. From time to time I have occasion to talk with veterans. In one instance when I told a man that reactions to this stress were essentially normal there were tears in his eyes. He was grateful and said, “I thought I was mentally ill.”

Normalizing the Experience

The military is beginning to work to drop the D from PTSD because calling it a disorder is serving as a bar to seeking help. People don’t like being called mentally ill. The fact is that the types of reactions we are seeing should be characterized as normal reactions to prolonged stress. Exactly how is a person to feel when they spend every day killing people and having people trying to kill them? Since we don’t have a draft we have sent people back for multiple tours of duty which is utterly irresponsible.

Thank You For Your Service

Yes, we should thank them for their service but we are too often not giving them service in return. I used an image of a homeless man on the street for this post because it exemplifies the service we are not giving. They should not be suffering. Too often the wait times for those seeking help is much too long and there should be no veterans homeless on the street.

We are failing to step up to our obligations. Politicians are threatening more war and few are really responding to and supporting the response to real need created by past wars. The fact is that there are understandable reactions to prolonged stress and they can be dealt with.

###

Don’t Miss My Developing Gaia’s Majesty Trilogy

I refer to it as a work of magical realism. It is a series with a strong mythological element and a real world setting in this time when women are being empowered at last. It is a time of wonder and awakening for all of humankind.

Gaia’s Majesty-Mission Called: Women in Power – Book 1

Avery had dedicated her life to work for the future of third world women. Her life was enhanced when she met the man who became the love of her life. They could not know that they shared a destiny and that a mission set long ago by our Earth Goddess was to be revealed before 

them. 

Available Now in Kindle and Paperback on Amazon

Gaia’s Majesty-Mission Called

Gaia’s Majesty-Challenge: The Chosen Rise – Book 2

These people, called Tethyans, live in cities in the sea but can morph into fully human form and come to land to form families. They join with the warrior women called the Andromeda to fight against the forces working to impair the future of humankind. Avery has found her birth name of Chantia and she and Beck find there is soon to be a child of seeming great import just as the world falls into terrible strife with millions already dead. 

Available Now in Kindle and Paperback on Amazon

Time For World Reformation – or Devastation?

 

Keeping Our Eyes Open and Head Clear

We seem to be teetering on the edge of something but the question is “of what?”.

Nothing Is Eternal

As I’ve said previously it was not long ago that we were looking at a world of dawning hope. The Arab Spring was growing, Europe showed ever so much promise and the world in general suggested progress. And then the downward spiral began.

The deterioration in the Middle East was striking, Europe showed signs of strain as Brexit surfaced and crises built across the world. What we need to ask ourselves is where this will lead. It may be something like how things were before World War I leading to decades of devastation of all kinds or it may indicate cracks in the facade of how things are which may mean opportunity.

Opportunity For Change

Whether we learned from the conflicts of the twentieth center is a key question. If we learned, then each crisis may be an opportunity in itself. Europe has seen what happened to Britain’s economy when they chose Brexit and it is hardly wonderful. In the Middle East we are seeing signs of new cooperation between nations and factions. And in the United States the old two party system is frayed and people are asking interesting questions. It may be that we can forge new alliances which can build new, more modern parties and open unexpected vistas for our population.

Facing Facts

Clearly we need new thinking and the end of the old system. It is clear that many kinds of industry are disappearing while new systems including information technology are appearing. But we need to rethink how we approach our economy and how jobs are shaped. People are going to have to be retrained and preparation for employment in general needs a new face.

How Novel!

In this postcapitalism era one of the ideas is for governments to provide a basic universal payment to all families. Say what? In fact, Switzerland is toying with just such an idea. Provide a fundamental base of support and you obviate many of the current forms of support such as disability payments, food programs and so forth. It is a fascinating idea which suggests exploration.

Building Constructive Change

We are entering a new era and, as stated above, we can view it is an opportunity for reform or resist it and inadvertently abet chaos and failure.

But, one thing is certain. The pace of change is increasing and we had best pay attention. New systems are evolving. Old industries and methods are going away. If nothing else, it is time to explore and see what we can sight on the horizon and how we might shape it.

What novel ideas would you like to explore?

###

Don’t Miss My Developing Gaia’s Majesty Trilogy

I refer to it as a work of magical realism. It is a series with a strong mythological element and a real world setting in this time when women are being empowered at last. It is a time of wonder and awakening for all of humankind.

Gaia’s Majesty-Mission Called: Women in Power – Book 1

Avery had dedicated her life to work for the future of third world women. Her life was enhanced when she met the man who became the love of her life. They could not know that they shared a destiny and that a mission set long ago by our Earth Goddess was to be revealed before 

them. 

Available Now in Kindle and Paperback on Amazon

Gaia’s Majesty-Mission Called

Gaia’s Majesty-Challenge: The Chosen Rise – Book 2

These people, called Tethyans, live in cities in the sea but can morph into fully human form and come to land to form families. They join with the warrior women called the Andromeda to fight against the forces working to impair the future of humankind. Avery has found her birth name of Chantia and she and Beck find there is soon to be a child of seeming great import just as the world falls into terrible strife with millions already dead. 

Available Now in Kindle and Paperback on Amazon

Gaia’s Majesty-Challenge

Calling On Men

 

Posing an Opportunity

The focus has been on the movement to empower women. But there is something we’ve been missing. It might be very useful to turn toward men and ask them what they want. I’m definitely not talking about older white men because we know generally what they want. Of course there are surely some who are enlightened but we know the public wasteland which has been enduring. So, we turn to young men who are living through a new and difficult age. We might find that people have not been asking them and they would have some thoughts.

What Might We Hear?

I do understand that when you start asking questions you may be surprised by the answers and the range of answers. But, in general, my sense is that there has been far too much silence out there in man land.

The atmosphere in America of late has been stunningly uninspiring. What if we offer men the opportunity to seek a vision and open a world to them at the very moment that there is an opening for women?

An Opportunity

I’m going to refer now to the American Wasteland. What I have seen recently is a wasteland lacking in vision. Or at least that is what has been dominant and now we are in the moment when we are at great risk. Perhaps this is the moment to ask moving questions. And the word wasteland should focus attention.

As I look back over my life I see a rather rigid set of expectations for men but that has been changing. We have taken down the crucifix of rigid sexual and marital expectations. We have a growing LGBTQ community and are calling out for racial and ethnic acceptance and are experiencing a backlash especially visible in the white power movement. This may well be the moment when we need to turn to men and ask them what they might want. And how they may contribute in our hour of need.

I say “might want” because for many men they may feel they have never been asked. The pressure has been on following the established path. Why not? It has always led them to dominance. We might just raise the possibility of sharing a much magnified and diverse set of partnerships and options.

Just a Thought

But again I come back to the fact that we have a movement to empower women and we might ask men if they want a movement as well. But one thing needs to be clear. When we are talking about empowerment, we are not talking about dominance and taking on domination. We use empowerment in terms of women because too often they have been forced into relatively powerless positions. 

Empowerment can come in many forms and one of them can be to enhance partnership. It would be useful for us to broaden our thinking.

The Facts

In fact power has been in only a few hands. Of course that generally is how it works because w leadership and organizations are needed but currently there are too many aberrations and corruption. It is time to rethink. The impulse of some is to say they are fed up and to just close up and turn away. What is needed is increased attention and commitment. This crisis may be a huge opportunity if we will make it so and as part of it I would love to hear what men say if they are offered a new form of empowerment and partnership. 

###

Don’t Miss My Developing Gaia’s Majesty Trilogy

I refer to it as a work of magical realism. It is a series with a strong mythological element and a real world setting in this time when women are being empowered at last. It is a time of wonder and awakening for all of humankind.

Gaia’s Majesty-Mission Called: Women in Power – Book 1

Avery had dedicated her life to work for the future of third world women. Her life was enhanced when she met the man who became the love of her life. They could not know that they shared a destiny and that a mission set long ago by our Earth Goddess was to be revealed before 

them. 

Available Now in Kindle and Paperback on Amazon

Gaia’s Majesty-Mission Called

Gaia’s Majesty-Challenge: The Chosen Rise – Book 2

These people, called Tethyans, live in cities in the sea but can morph into fully human form and come to land to form families. They join with the warrior women called the Andromeda to fight against the forces working to impair the future of humankind. Avery has found her birth name of Chantia and she and Beck find there is soon to be a child of seeming great import just as the world falls into terrible strife with millions already dead. 

Available Now in Kindle and Paperback on Amazon

Gaia’s Majesty-Challenge

The Not So Loyal Opposition

 

For you, what are the implications of the movement to empower women?

Opposing Empowerment

From history it is clear that there are very many people opposed to women being empowered. It was not so long ago that women did not have the right to vote. They had to be brave, march in the streets and insist that they should have such a right. In the 1960s came the women’s liberation movement.  In some ways it was not an easy time for women. I recall women dressing in what amounted to men’s suits with ties. That form of dress was (thankfully) abandoned shortly. But we were all finding our way. 

There were questions about who would support women being liberated and that included some women.  At times it was all so tentative. I recall being at a convention and hearing there was to be a meeting of women about the issues. I showed up wanting to hear what they had to say and a stricken woman politely told me it was for women only. In retrospect I can see how they wanted to consider where they stood and what needed to be done without some male making possibly unwanted input, possibly in the form of “mansplaining”.

Male Subterfuges

And lets face it, whether men will say so out loud, many of them are opposed to women being empowered. And, of course, the question is why they should feel so threatened. Of course, they almost never put it that way. There were simple statements that a woman’s place was in the home, that it was unseemly what women were asking and on and on.  Oh please, can we be honest? 

Actually, I’m not so sure we can be honest because I think the issues are so fundamental and deep in the human psyche that I’m not sure we can easily be honest.

Such Breadth of Opposition!

And then there are other matters which are related. Recently it has come out that men in football are suffering terrible brain injuries from the brain bouncing around in the skull and from twisting of the brain stem. Suggesting there is a problem seems to be tantamount to taking away their masculinity. But the real point here is something else that came up in one discussion I heard. A couple of former players raised the issue of a player who came out and said he was gay. To put it mildly he was not treated well by his brother players. And then both of the former players commented that they thought the homophobia was simply another form of being antiwomen. I simply can’t respond to that thought in a simple fashion.

Expecting a Backlash

The bottom line here is that there is a lot more than meets the eye. Presently we have a war on women going on in the United States. Efforts are being made to restrict women’s reproductive rights which also relates to fundamental issues of health care. The talk is about opposition to abortion but, not for a second do I believe that is the issue. Women are not supposed to be empowered.

And I fully expect that I’m going to get some nastiness for supporting the movement and I think it will be disguised and, in fact, the men objecting may actually believe what they are saying. This is a very, very deep issue which will require exploration. And this issue is fundamentally underlying my Gaia’s Majesty Trilogy.

I’ll have much more to say and some thoughts about the underlying issues.

How are you expecting the movement for empowerment will play out?

###

Don’t Miss My Developing Gaia’s Majesty Trilogy

I refer to it as a work of magical realism. It is a series with a strong mythological element and a real world setting in this time when women are being empowered at last. It is a time of wonder and awakening for all of humankind.

Gaia’s Majesty-Mission Called: Women in Power – Book 1

Avery had dedicated her life to work for the future of third world women. Her life was enhanced when she met the man who became the love of her life. They could not know that they shared a destiny and that a mission set long ago by our Earth Goddess was to be revealed before 

them. 

Available Now in Kindle and Paperback on Amazon

Gaia’s Majesty-Mission Called

Gaia’s Majesty-Challenge: The Chosen Rise – Book 2

These people, called Tethyans, live in cities in the sea but can morph into fully human form and come to land to form families. They join with the warrior women called the Andromeda to fight against the forces working to impair the future of humankind. Avery has found her birth name of Chantia and she and Beck find there is soon to be a child of seeming great import just as the world falls into terrible strife with millions already dead. 

Available Now in Kindle and Paperback on Amazon

Gaia’s Majesty-Challenge