Facing Complexity and Men’s Issues

 

Not As Special As They Claim

Now we tred into difficult territory. No doubt there are wide differences concerning how men view themselves. In general behaviors and attitudes suggest men are meant to demonstrate that they are superior to women and will lead them. The problem is that many men don’t feel that way. Deep inside many men don’t feel as special as they claim but accepting those feelings would give them opportunity if they can seize it.

Being direct with oneself would help men clarify who they think they are and how they should devote themselves. That requires them to accept that they can actually do that. It may mean turning away from a devotion to power. Sharing it and its different levels would benefit us all.

Then There is Sports Tyranny

The confinement of men is well illustrated by the role of sports in their lives at many levels. From a very early age it is expected that boys will devote themselves to sports. If they are not good or don’t care they may be ridiculed and treated badly.

There is the image of the small boy wearing a ball mitt standing adoringly before a sports star. It almost seems required. Is that boy good at sports or will he feel diminished if he does not measure up to his “idol”.

And what if he doesn’t care about sports. He may be ridiculed and told it is essential for his conditioning and physical wellbeing. In fact there are many other conditioning and self maintenance alternatives. They are more apparent now than when I was a child. Being able to choose alternatives will offer ways to enhance self esteem as well as skills and help open the bounty and diversity of the world.

Being Who We Are

As soon as we question men’s self esteem we have the chance to explore their world. That world includes not just a view into self esteem but also their ability to make choices about numerous alternatives for their lives. That in turn offers them a rich type of future with the woman of their choice. 

Not long ago it seemed we thought that our development ended with what we call the beginning of adulthood. In fact, our complex development continues throughout life. And it helps if we are not confined by a rigid identity and limited choices as often happens to men. When they open their world they let a woman in for greater rich experience together.

A Lesson From Women

Currently we are seeing something with women that is instructive. 

I don’t remember the exact time but it was a few decades ago when some women were looking for power and a new place in life. Some chose to dress down closer to what men wore. It seemed unreal and confining. It didn’t last long and it disappeared from the stage.

And now, with empowerment, It is truly lovely to see smart, assertive women appear on television and they may be dressed beautifully. They show their talents, commitments and intelligence. Yes, they can be pretty, smart and important.

The Bottom Line

Perhaps we might look at empowerment as a universal need. We are already seeing benefits in the empowerment of women. Now, if men can overcome common self esteem issues and self image issues it may be that they can be empowered in a new way. And with both men and women being empowered we will find a new form of partnership. 

This can be a wonderful new day. We can look forward to rich and enhancing self and social explorations.

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Don’t Miss My Developing Gaia’s Majesty Trilogy

I refer to it as a work of magical realism. It is a series with a strong mythological element and a real world setting in this time when women are being empowered at last. It is a time of wonder and awakening for all of humankind.

Gaia’s Majesty-Mission Called: Women in Power – Book 1

Avery had dedicated her life to work for the future of third world women. Her life was enhanced when she met the man who became the love of her life. They could not know that they shared a destiny and that a mission set long ago by our Earth Goddess was to be revealed before 

them. 

Available Now in Kindle and Paperback on Amazon

Gaia’s Majesty-Mission Called

Gaia’s Majesty-Challenge: The Chosen Rise – Book 2

These people, called Tethyans, live in cities in the sea but can morph into fully human form and come to land to form families. They join with the warrior women called the Andromeda to fight against the forces working to impair the future of humankind. Avery has found her birth name of Chantia and she and Beck find there is soon to be a child of seeming great import just as the world falls into terrible strife with millions already dead. 

Available Now in Kindle and Paperback on Amazon

Gaia’s Majesty-Challenge

Men! Who Are We?

 

 

I’ve written several posts exploring the empowerment of women and supporting the changes. It is now time to begin to explore men, who they really are, and what is driving them.

Time to Challenge Our View of Men and View of Ourselves

Some might say we already know all about men. As a psychologist I have to challenge that assumption. I don’t think we know a great deal because what drives and defines men is deep in their physiology, their personalities, peer relationships, their culture, the overall culture and on and on.

Empowerment Is Merely a Beginning

Women have opened the way for us and it is time. As I thought about this post I saw a deep challenge. I found I could not even begin to raise a comprehensive view or ask all the needed questions.  Extensive exploration is required, and research, as we rush into our future at a faster and faster pace.

A Few Issues

Let me raise a few issues which came  to mind.

Men – Male Culture

What is the shape, form and detailing of what we might call male culture?

Power – Often we see men as being dominated by the quest for power. I doubt it is so simple. Seeking power can be compensatory, fear induced, have specific goals about which the man may not be clear at all. Etc.

Sexuality – Certainly there is a drive but what is it related to? There is a great deal of complexity there.

Sports tyranny – I was never into competitive sports. Above all I have been dedicated to exploring the “what if”. The pressure to be dedicated to sports among boys was always intense. One day when I was nine two boys were fighting over whether one was out or safe. I got fed up, walked off the ball field for good and rode away on my bike into wonder.

Suppression of women – At the forefront right now is the issue of the suppression of women. It is often led by men but there are also some women who support it as well. Surely men are central but when we look at it, it goes beyond men into the larger culture of our societies. 

Men – Self Image

How does a man define himself? What does that man expect of himself?

Too often the image of what it means to be a man is assumed to be global. It is not. There should be room for breadth and diversity but especially in adolescence there is little room.

Men Versus women

Certainly men seek love and sex and weave women into their desires to build a  future with them. But when we delve a little deeper we get into a stunning complexity. Men are expected to take the initiative which also leaves them open to rejection and problems of self esteem. Can he please her, engage her, respond sexually and on and on. Adolescence is a time of challenge and change. It can leave deep scars which impact women as well. And one thing I hear little of is men’s reaction to their women giving birth. Women are the ultimate creator of human life. Men make a brief contribution and do support her but the baby is her special wonder. How men truly handle it remains a secret. 

The Meaning of Partnership 

The research – Certainly there is research out there but what I am suggesting is greater nuance and exploration. I don’t think we know as much as we think we do. We see wonderful marriages and partnerships but we also see many underlying issues which get in the way of fulfillment and partnership. And what of our personal exploration. A very challenging topic.

There! I Opened the Encyclopedia

This post was difficult because I found so many pathways opening. This is nothing but a totally inadequate probing of a whole field of study. Some might say it has been extensively studied. I do not agree.

Let me hear from you and I will, over time, seek to continue the exploration.

###

Don’t Miss My Developing Gaia’s Majesty Trilogy

I refer to it as a work of magical realism. It is a series with a strong mythological element and a real world setting in this time when women are being empowered at last. It is a time of wonder and awakening for all of humankind.

Gaia’s Majesty-Mission Called: Women in Power – Book 1

(Available now in Kindle and paperback on Amazon.) 

Avery had dedicated her life to work for the future of third world women. Her life was enhanced when she met the man who became the love of her life. They could not know that they shared a destiny and that a mission set long ago by our Earth Goddess was to be revealed before them.

Gaia’s Majesty-Challenge: The Chosen Rise – Book 2

(Available now in Pre-Order and goes on sale April 29 on Amazon)

These people, called Tethyans, live in cities in the sea but can morph into fully human form and come to land to form families. They join with the warrior women called the Andromeda to fight against the forces working to impair the future of humankind. Avery has found her birth name of Chantia and she and Beck find there is soon to be a child of seeming great import just as the world falls into terrible strife with millions already dead.